


Sweetie Pie

by TheClownPrincessOfCrime



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Batman: The Animated Series
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-17 15:07:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 17,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29968215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheClownPrincessOfCrime/pseuds/TheClownPrincessOfCrime
Summary: All's well after an 11-year-old girl gets mixed up with Joker's gang...that is, until Harley Quinn must seek help from her caped enemies after finding out the scariest rogue in Gotham City is much more dangerous than she bargained for.
Kudos: 2





	1. Watch your step, Kid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own anything Batman-related except any OCs I create! This is story is based solely during the animated universe timeline (The New Batman Adventures and onward/Justice League Wild Cards) because frankly, Bruce Timm's art-style is a hard vibe.

* * *

The quiet, calm, and peaceful Gotham City night was instantly shattered by Harley Quinn's shrieking, maniacal laugh splitting through the air as she drove recklessly down the road, weaving in and out of traffic with ease. The Joker sat in the backseat with his feet casually propped up as if he were a passenger during a quiet, Sunday drive down the California coast. Laying on the seat next to him were random clipboards holding papers with scribbled writings on them, but he paid them no attention as he casually closed his eyes and allowed his girl to drive them along. Such was a scenario Harley was all too familiar with: after all, the Joker always said that Harley _drove_ him... _crazy,_ that is. Not that she meant to, exactly. Most of the time, she couldn't help how insanely furious she made him, but she was quite skilled with it, as everyone knew. As they sped down the winding road, she glanced into the rearview mirror just to make sure their two other henchmen were still in sight. Harley knew that in case their men lost track of them, her puddin' would have found some way to blame it on her...most likely punishing her with an angry fist to her face. It was something she never much enjoyed, but given the huge amount of time she had been with him, it was something she was also familiar with. As she took a second glance in the mirror, she was greatly relieved to see their men's tattered brown car still following closely behind their own.

As it was prone to do, Harley's mind trailed off in thought even as she controlled their vehicle. She wondered how her darling and equally-insane best friend Ivy was doing. The last Harley had heard, Ivy had been recently caught by the police and had taken up residence in Arkham Asylum once again, a place Harley knew very well. She herself had been caught, released, rescued, and escaped Arkham Asylum more times than she could count on her fingers, which made it feel almost like a second home in a weird, twisted sort of way. Namely, Harley had the asylum to thank for introducing her to the love of her life, but she knew she had to be extra careful as to not end up there again anytime soon. She was having loads of fun with her puddin' and intended to stay a free woman for as long as she possibly could.

 _"Still,"_ Harley thought to herself sadly, a tiny frown forming on her face, _"it_ does _get lonesome sometimes without another girl around to talk to."_ At least with Ivy out and about, it calmed Harley, at least somewhat, to know there was always a girl, a close friend nearby she could seek out any time she needed. There was no doubt that she loved the Joker and her two precious hyena babies, Bud and Lou to death, but it just wasn't the same to be surrounded by men all the time, and she admittedly felt overwhelmed at being stuck around all the macho testosterone that oozed from their hideout. She just felt a strange emptiness inside her that she couldn't explain, no matter how often she tried to decipher it. Oftentimes, Harley even wanted to suggest having a tryout for an expansion of their team, namely a _girl_ Harley could potentially befriend...although one not busty or smart, and _certainly_ one who wasn't as attractive as she was. After all, there _were_ limits. Despite her want of extra companionship, though, Harley was well aware that the Joker was already fed up with her _alone,_ so he'd probably _never_ let another female into the gang - no way, no how. Other, _braver_ times, she even thought of the idea of asking the Joker for a _baby_ to fill the strange void she felt, but she knew the idea of having _kids_ anywhere near them was more off-limits than anything, so she simply kept her mouth shut and endured the pain of loneliness that had slowly begun creeping into her life.

"For Pete's sake, Harley! Will you _watch_ where you're going?" the Joker's shrill voice rattled in her ear, snapping Harley's wandering mind back to reality as the car suddenly started wobbling in her absentmindedness. "We're still in the _city!_ Are you trying to _kill_ somebody, or what?"

Harley giggled in response. "Not _yet,_ Mister J!"

The Joker rolled his eyes and sighed, grabbing a clipboard and smacking her in the back of her head. "There's only room for _one_ comedian here, Harl, and it sure isn't _you._ Now, _shut_ your mouth and pay _attention_ to what you're doing, or I'll put a _bullet_ in your head!"

Harley frowned, dejected, but did as she was told. Even if she knew...or _hoped_ she knew the Joker wouldn't _actually_ shoot her, she certainly didn't want to take any chances. Suddenly, she brightened as she looked around them. "Hey, look! We're almost there!"

Indeed, they had driven well into the Southside of Gotham, away from prying eyes and pedestrians...which was exactly where they needed to be.

The Joker suddenly burst into hearty, joker-like laughs. He let out an excited _"Whoop!"_ which caused Harley to laugh loudly as well. Not a second later, he hit her with the clipboard again, making Harley flinch in pain. _"Shut_ up, you!" he grumbled to her.

A few seconds later, they turned off the main road and headed down a secluded dirt path, pulled up to the docks, and parked their cars. Harley gulped as she looked around at their dreary surroundings. The darkness and smelly sea-air just made the scene all the eerier, and Harley shivered in her costume. To take her mind off her slight nervousness, she tried for the umpteenth time to close the trunk of their ratty old car. It had the knack for opening at its own will, never seeming to want to stay closed no matter how often they cursed at it. When she didn't succeed in closing it that time, she angrily kicked the bumper with her foot out of frustration. The impact was much more than Harley had expected, and she yelped in pain as her foot throbbed from the force of her kick. The Joker and his henchmen just shook their heads in annoyance. Even the two henchmen, Rock and Hev, who, incidentally, weren't the brightest bulbs in the tanning beds were often embarrassed by Harley's idiotic behavior.

 _"Geez,_ Mister J," Harley groaned as she looked around and rubbed her foot, trying to get her mind off her current physical pain. "What a horribly _stinky_ place this is! _Ugh,_ I _hate_ fish!" She gagged to emphasize her hatred of fish and the fish-smells they brought along with them. "Are you _sure_ we're in the right place? Who in their right mind would wanna come _here_ , anyway?"

The Joker shoved Harley to the ground as he made his way towards the old, rundown building. "We're _in_ the right place, you _moron._ Now, _shut up_ and let me talk business. If you so much as open your mouth an _inch_ without permission, I'll _throw_ you into the bay. You _got_ that?"

Harley trembled as the coldness of the ground shot through her body like a bolt of lightning. She closed her mouth, "zipped" it, and vigorously nodded.

Rock and Hev opened the doors for the Joker, who sauntered inside without a second thought. Harley bounced up and followed close behind, taking a quick glance behind her before she carefully shut the noisy, creaking door. As soon as her eyes adjusted to the darkness around her, Harley noticed a small table in the middle of the room with a dark, sinister being already waiting at it.

Scarecrow sat in his rickety wooden chair, his soulless eyes glistening with impatience after having to wait longer than he had originally intended. Harley chuckled when she saw her "friend," and attempted to greet him in her usually happy manor, but with one stern look from the Joker, she wisely clamped her mouth shut and didn't breathe a single word.

"It's so lovely to see you again, old friend," said the Joker as he hastily sat down at the table, his eyes hungrily glancing over the pile of blue papers that were strewn across it. "It's been way too long."

"You know, Joker," answered the masked fiend sternly, his voice sharp with annoyance. "I _do_ expect my business partners to arrive at the _agreed_ time." Scarecrow's glowing eyes narrowed. "Otherwise," he continued darkly. "What's the point of arranging a specific _time._..if both parties are not willing to follow through?"

The Joker sighed, heavily. He wanted to talk business, not be scolded about his tardiness. "Come on now, Crane." The Joker tipped back in his chair and put his hands behind his oily green head. "We have all the time in the world out here! We're in such a secluded place, we even managed to hideout from ol' Batsy and his clan of do-gooders. Not a _soul_ in Gotham knows we're here, so quit your bellyaching!"

Unbeknownst to the Joker, there _was_ a Gothamite who knew they were there, but it probably wasn't one they would have been expecting.

A young, petite, cherub-faced girl crouched, cleverly hidden behind a couple of boxes, cheekily peeking inside the warehouse through a foggy window. She was almost too cute for the dim surroundings, with her huge, sapphire-blue-colored eyes and the sprinkling of freckles across her rosy cheeks and nose. Part of her light-blonde hair had been pulled into two tiny half-pigtails on either side of the top of her head, and they both blew in the wind as she inhaled a deep breath, taking in the entire scene in front of her. She shivered a little out of fear, anxiety, curiosity, and anticipation. Her outfit clashed with her dim surroundings: a long-sleeved light-pink Peter Pan-collared fit-and-flare dress, an unzipped black faux-leather jacket, two mismatched knee-high socks, one rainbow striped and one with huge rainbow polka dots, and blue and white high-top sneakers. Although, her bright, cheerful attire did nothing to shield her from the dark, damp, and chilly air that surrounded her, nor did it ease her childhood fear of dark places. The girl had been out wandering the streets that night on her own secret mission, and even if she wouldn't have come to this particular dreary area otherwise, she now counted the lucky stars that she _had._ As the girl watched two cars go crazily speeding down the street and turn onto a dark, secluded road, her giddy curiosity had gotten the better of her and she just _had_ to investigate all the commotion. To her, it looked like something _fun_ was about to happen, and she didn't want to miss out on it...or miss out on seeing _who_ it was.

Unfortunately, the girl had trailed them too slowly and had missed seeing who had been driving, which only fueled her curiosity fire and willed her to get closer, still. She could barely see them through the murky windows as it was, but she knew whoever they were, they just had to be up to no good, and she was outrageously excited at the idea of watching "bad guys" do bad things for a while. She smiled to herself, feeling proud of what she had done before running after them. She had sneakily swiped a few loose coins from an outside restaurant table and had used a payphone to call the cops, alerting them of some "freaky stuff" happening down by the docks. She thought it would be _loads_ of fun to watch the police come to crash their party, and she almost burst into giggles at the thought of the mischief she would cause for the goons she was following. The girl had then decided to have a little _more_ fun by staking out the place until the police arrived to break up the party, and she trembled with joy. Her heart thumped wildly in her chest as she glanced around nervously, her senses on high alert. So far, luck had been on her side and no one had spotted her, but she didn't want to take any huge risks that might end badly for her. One thing she knew for sure, the docks gave her the creeps, and she knew it was completely _crazy_ of her to be there in the first place. She knew she should leave and let the police handle the situation. She knew it was careless, and she knew it was dangerous. She knew _all_ of that, but in the end, her overwhelming childhood curiosity got the better of her, and she dashed across to the other side of the building, just hoping for a chance to see a little more and get a little closer to the action. Mainly, though, she wanted to see _who_ was up to _what_. After angrily realizing the other windows were just as opaque and cloudy as the first ones, she took a quick glance above her, and a small, mischievous smile crept upon her face.

With a light-hearted, bubbly giggle, she gasped in happiness. "Now, _that's_ more like it!"

The girl quickly started climbing up the side of the warehouse, using pipes, nitches, nooks, crannies, and anything she could get her hands on. She felt almost like a spider with the way she was able to easily grip onto small places and make her way to the roof with incredible ease, only clumsily faltering and slipping a few times. Once at the top of the rickety warehouse, she made sure to step carefully and softly as to not alert the current inhabitants below. She maneuvered her way across the roof like a pro, little chuckles escaping her lips every so often. She moved with such flexibility, almost like a gymnast. _Almost_ as if she'd been trained under Harley Quinn. She flipped her way towards the huge skylight window which was situated right in the middle of the roof. Although, she almost screamed in frustration once she saw the state of the window...her last remaining attempt at seeing who was down below. It was in just as bad a shape as the ones on the ground level where she had started from, and she was lucky she had enough self-control not to just break the window out of frustration. Even with some intense wiping with the bottom of her dress, the window was still covered in grimy, sticky filth that she almost _did_ break it.

After realizing the window would never be clean, the girl sighed and shook her head, then looked out across the streets for signs of police sirens. "At _least_ if I wait around long enough, I can see who they _are_ once the cops finally show up and take 'em to County." When she didn't see a single flashing light in the distance, she sighed again and rolled her eyes in annoyance. "Yeah, well. I bet they'd already be here if I told them a _donut_ shop was being robbed," she mumbled to herself, then brought her attention back to the scene under her. "Aw, this _sucks!_ I _wish_ I could see who's down there! All I can see is a big fat pile of _nothing!"_ She pushed her face against the window in a last-ditch attempt, hoping for a better peek, somehow. As she pressed her nose against the top of the glass, her hot breath started fogging the area where she exhaled. Even still, she could see nothing more than blurry blobs of color, and she groaned in annoyance and she frustratingly wiped the glass. "Of course, still _nothing!"_ she grumbled, pursing her lips in annoyance. She crossed her arms over her chest and exhaled, blowing her messy bangs upwards. "Man, what a _joke!_ I wouldn't have come all the way up here if I knew I wasn't gonna be able to _see_ something!"

Harley, on the other hand, _had_ been able to catch a glimpse of something the roof out of the corner of her eye. She'd been so easily distracted from the all-work-no-play business talk her puddin' was engaged in that she had aimlessly wandered away from the men and had begun curiously exploring the place. When Harley had noticed an ever-so-slight shadowy disturbance on the roof, she let her own curiosity get the better of her. Quick as a flash, she carefully shoved huge boxes and crates around so she could climb up and get a better look at the mysterious movement on the roof through a random window she had seen.

The sneaky little spy up top had stopped her pouting and still continued to try and wipe the fog that had appeared on the window. She blew more hot breaths onto the glass in a final attempt to wash it off. Suddenly, she was quite surprised to find that her breath actually _had_ helped clear up the glass a little. The moment she noticed it, her heart leaped with joy. With a happy giggle, she breathed more hot breath on the same spot and wiped it away with her hands, clearing up a nice space on the glass, like a little window-within-a-window.

 _"Bingo!"_ the girl said with a huge grin, giving off a tiny giggle. _"Now_ I'll be able to see something!"

As she excitedly pressed her face back to the now-clean glass, she was shocked to find a pair of pale, icy-blue eyes staring back at her from behind a jet-black mask. Their noses both touched from their respective sides of the window, and both Harley and the girl gasped out in surprise. Harley was so shocked that she lost her footing on one of the box towers she had been standing on. Harley and the tower came tumbling down to the ground in a noisy heap of smokey dust, grit, and grime.

The girl felt all the color drain from her face in an instant and she thought her heart would jump out of her chest. She jumped up as fast as lightning. "Oh, _shii_ -take mushrooms!" she squeaked. "Th-that was _Harley Quinn!"_ The girl began running back towards the edge of the building as fast as her tiny legs could carry her, gasping for breath. "And if that was Harley Quinn, then _that_ means-"

 _"Har-leeeeey!"_ the Joker's loud, booming voice shook the very roof she was running on, causing the girl to stumble and fall as she ran. To her horror, the fall sent her crashing to her knees, creating a deafeningly loud metallic _clang_ that echoed down into the warehouse where the villains stood.

They all looked up at the ceiling with interest upon hearing the noise.

"Hey, is there something up on the roof?" cried Rock.

"There _is!_ I saw some little _sneak_ up there with my own two eyes!" Harley shrieked angrily, leaping up from the ground. "We've been _compromised!"_

The girl's heart pounded with fear as she scrambled back to her feet and quickly began climbing down off the roof as fast as she could manage. She knew Harley Quinn had seen her, and she knew she had to get out of there, fast. Unless they lived under a rock, _everyone_ in Gotham City knew how dangerous the Joker was. The girl was certain that if she was caught, she might not see the light of day again, and she shivered with fear as she climbed down as fast as she could go. Suddenly, to her horror, she felt her foot slip out from under her, and with a panicked shriek, she slid down the side of the building and fell smack-dab into the open trunk of a ratty old car. Before she had time to crawl out again, she heard the sounds of the warehouse door sliding open. The girl carefully pulled the lid of the trunk down to help hide as best she could, taking a deep, trembling breath. _"Just keep hidden, they'll never find you inside this rickety-old car. It's just like hide-and-seek!"_ she thought. _"Everything's gonna be fine. They'll leave, soon, and then you can climb right out and scram!"_

"Oh, now I _know_ I heard someone out here," said Rock, with a deep growl.

"It sounded like a scream or something," added Hev.

"I _told_ you _numbskulls_ I saw someone!" Harley smirked as she walked towards the car that held the frightened girl. "I _knew_ I wasn't crazy!"

As she watched Harley come closer, the girl didn't dare breathe, out of fear she would make too much of a sound. She thanked her lucky stars that she was hidden within the shadows and no one could see her even if they stood next to her. Her only concern was getting out of the trunk and running away before they _did._

"Come out, come out, wherever you are!" Harley sang out in a sweet, sing-song voice, waving the pistol she held in her hand. "We're not gonna hurtcha...we're just gonna feed teeny-weeny little _pieces_ of you to the fishies!" Not a moment after Harley spoke, they heard police sirens approaching. _"Rats!"_ Harley groaned, slamming the handle of the pistol down on top of the car. The girl flinched and shut her eyes in fear. "Somebody _snitched_ on us!" Harley tossed the pistol into the backseat of their car with a huff and cupped her hands over her mouth. "Hey Mister J, hurry it up, will ya? We gotta get in the car and go, _now!_ The coppers are coming!"

Rock and Hev made a mad dash to their car, followed by a sour-faced Joker soon after, livid that his business party was crashed before having actually _discussed_ anything worthwhile.

 _"Go?"_ the girl nervously thought.

The Joker angrily slammed his fists down on the half-opened trunk door as he rushed past it. The force of his infuriated blow caused the trunk to close and latch shut, leaving the girl petrified as she realized _whose_ car she was hiding in. She knew she now lay trapped in the dark trunk of the most psychotic villain in Gotham City. There was no escape for her, and as she heard the engine rev up and felt the insane, crazy movement of the car as they sped away, she gulped, her eyes filling with nervous tears. There was only one terrifying thought going through her mind at that time: What was going to happen to her once the Joker and Harley Quinn found her?


	2. The Accidental Stowaway

The Joker and his troupe managed to escape capture by police by just a hair, but Harley was insanely curious as to how they'd been found out in the first place, especially because the Joker had been so confident that their operation would stay top secret.

"Hey Mister J," Harley mused as she hastily parked their car back at their hideout. "Who doya think told the police we were there, huh? I mean, it wasn't _me._ I kept my mouth shut, just like you told me!"

The Joker had been too infuriated to speak a single word, and upon their safe arrival at their place, Harley continued rambling, completely unaware of Rock and Hev waving their arms in protest of her constant babbling.

"I mean, I _thought_ the reason you had the idea to meet out there in the first place was 'cause nobody woulda found us out, right? And what happens?" Harley chuckled, lightly. _"Somebody_ called the cops on us and almost got us thrown back into Arkham! Boy, are we lucky the Bat-brains didn't show up! But, can you _believe_ some stinky _rat_ snitched on us?" She suddenly brightened, still oblivious to the Joker's fuming expression. "Oh, _hey!_ Doya think it coulda been the same person that I saw on top of the roo-"

All of the Joker's anger exploded out like a volcano as he fiercely grabbed Harley by her two dangling tassels snd jerked her close to him. "I've had _just_ about enough of your mouth, Harley!" he snarled. "Can you not, for _five_ minutes just keep _quiet?"_

"Well, gee Mister J, I suppose I _could..._ I just never tried it," Harley replied, smiling a cute smile. She hoped her cuteness would ease some of his anger. It didn't.

The Joker growled in response and violently threw her against the trunk of the car as hard as he could. At first, the Joker didn't notice the impact of Harley's backside had caused the trunk of the car to pop open, and he continued to rage through gritted teeth. "Oh, when I find out who ratted us out tonight and _ruined_ my pla..." Suddenly, he stopped, mid-sentence. The Joker noticed something peculiar about the inside of the trunk of his car. As he slowly stepped towards it, he saw the wide-eyed thing that was shivering inside the open trunk. An evil grin crept upon his face as he peered down inside with his two wicked eyes. "Well, well, _well._ What do we have _here?"_

Harley groaned loudly from the ground, standing up and holding her throbbing backside. Her tassels swayed a bit when she glanced towards whatever had made her puddin' stop mid-rant. There, curled up in a pathetic little ball, Harley finally saw their accidental stowaway. She gasped, loudly. The young girl's eyes were huge with fright, and they had instantly filled with tears the moment she saw the Joker hovering over her.

The Joker didn't waste a moment. He roughly grabbed the girl by the collar of her jacket and yanked her up out of the trunk with one good jerk. "What on Earth is _this_ doing here?" he asked, as an even larger, more freakish grin spread across his face. He turned to Harley then, his grip still firm on the trembling child. "I don't remember shopping for a _kid_ while we were out tonight, do _you,_ Harl?" The Joker turned his gaze back to the girl as he gripped her jacket tighter and growled at her. "So, I don't know _what_ it's doing in _my_ car!" _  
_  
The girl whimpered as she felt all of her breath leave her body. There was no chance of her saying a word, not after being hypnotized by the Joker's glare. She was like a mouse petrified by a viper's glare right before the deadly strike of death.

"What'sa matter, kiddo? Cat got your tongue?" the Joker asked, chuckling loudly.

The girl was still at a loss for words as she stared up at the Joker, feeling her whole body shake as she looked deeper into his killer, psychotic eyes.

The Joker's face suddenly turned sourer as the girl, according to him, refused to speak out of defiance. He narrowed his eyes. "Listen, here, you little _twerp!_ I have _no_ patience tonight after my plans were _ruined!_ You had _better_ tell me what the _heck_ you were doing in the trunk of my car before I _really_ lose my cool!" he hissed, his hot breath lingering on her face.

The girl gasped loudly but luckily found her voice, somehow. "I-I'm s-sorry!" she stammered, her throat as dry as if it were coated with sawdust. "It was..it was me! I-I messed up your meeting!"

The Joker's grip on her jacket tightened as he listened to her speak. _"What?"_ he growled.

The girl gulped, her stomach churning with fright. "I-I was...I w-was just out w-walking tonight and I…and I saw s-some cars driving really f-fast out by the docks, and...a-and I climbed up on the roof 'cause I ju-just wanted to s-see who was inside," the girl's voice quivered as she looked into the Joker's rabid eyes. "Th-then, when I tried to run away, I...I fell i-into the trunk of th-the car! But...I-I'm sorry! I'm _so_ s-sorry I called the cops on you!" The girl had tears seeping from her eyes at the moment, and she was shaking from fright as the murderous clown held her a good six feet off the ground.

Harley's mouth dropped open as she listened to the girl's confession, and she bit her lip nervously as she saw the Joker's rage building. She suddenly felt some sort of weird protective instinct inside of her. She remembered having that same feeling once before in the past when she had accidentally kidnapped Veronica Vreeland. Both girls had gone on a joyride around town on the day Harley was officially declared sane from Arkham Asylum...even if Veronica hadn't gone by _choice._ Harley had hijacked the vehicle that Veronica had currently been occupying at that specific time, so it was simple luck. Harley had been more concerned about escaping than anything else and had _zero_ intentions of ever _hurting_ Veronica. In the end, Harley had felt concerned for Veronica's well-being, much like the feeling she was getting now as she watched the terrified look on the poor girl's face. Harley saw how tiny the girl was, and she knew that with such a small stature like that, the Joker could have easily broken the girl in half if he got mad enough. And he definitely _looked_ mad enough at that time.

The Joker scrunched up his face, knowing full well it would have been beet red had it not been already been bleached white. He could barely see straight on account of his incredible fury, and his blood boiled. "So _you're_ the one who was _spying_ on us and called the cops?" His eyes seemed like they would pop out of their sockets in his state of insane anger. "Do you have _any_ idea what you've done, you little _brat_?" he screamed, gripping onto the girl so tightly his knuckles began to throb. The girl struggled to get free of the Joker's tight grasp, and she began panicking much more as he dragged her into the hideout.

The girl was full-on crying now as the Joker shoved her hard up against a wall, still holding onto the collar of her jacket and making sure she was still at his eye-level. She gasped as she felt the wind get knocked out of her with the Joker's force, and she could barely catch her breath as she stared into his malicious eyes. "I-I didn't mean to s-spy," she began, breathlessly. "I-I was just c-curious-"

"You were just _curious,_ eh?" the Joker sneered as the girl continued to weep in terror. "Well, you know what they say, kitten?" With an evil chuckle, he _clinked_ open a switchblade in his other hand and brought the blade up to her throat. "Curiosity _killed_ the cat!" He placed the blade of his knife directly onto her throat and began to gently press down. "Let's see if we can manage that, shall we?" he growled.

Out of instinct or fear, she wasn't sure which one, the girl suddenly kicked out her foot, making an impact directly in the middle of the Joker's stomach. In his surprise, he dropped her onto the ground with a _thud._ She jumped up, her eyes still wide with fear as she looked at the Joker with his shiny, sharp knife gleaming in his hand, ready for the kill. He reached for her and caught her by the arm of her jacket. Gasping, she wriggled a bit and was able to get free of his grip, leaving him holding onto her empty jacket.

He growled and threw the jacket aside as he stepped towards her, his teeth clenched. "C'mere, you little _brat!"_ he sneered. "I'm not gonna hurtcha too _bad."_ As he made slicing motions with the knife, he laughed maniacally. "I'm just gonna tickle you with my _switchblade_ 'til there's no _piece_ of you _left!"_

"No, please! Please don't hurt me! _Please!"_ the girl pleaded, backing up slowly, tears streaming down her pink, flushed cheeks. She held her hands out in front of her as if it would have shielded her from any attack the Joker would have tried. "I-I'm _sorry!_ I'm so sorry! I-I didn't mean it! I didn't mean-"

"You didn't _mean_ it?" cried the Joker, his knuckles white as he gripped the knife harder. "You didn't _mean_ it?" he repeated. "You _called_ the cops! You _ruined_ my plans, and now, you're gonna _pay_ for it!"

The girl was sobbing quite loudly now, which only made the Joker more infuriated. He slowly advanced towards her, his fists clenched almost as tightly as his teeth were. As he waved the knife around and threatened to kill her as painfully and as messily as possible, Harley suddenly appeared, jumping between the two like a spunky red and black forcefield.

Harley held out her hand and pressed it against the Joker's chest, her eyes filled to the brim with determination. "Hey, cool your jets, Mister J!'' she said, firmly, as the girl dashed and hid behind her, shaking with fear. "I mean, look at this tiny little thing. I mean...she's just a _kid._ She probably didn't know she was ratting people like _us_ out." Harley turned and looked into the girl's giant, terrified blue eyes. "Didja, sweetie?" she asked, gently.

The girl shook her head quickly, still gasping out of fear as she hid behind Harley, clutching her waist, tightly. The Joker was stunned beyond words upon having his henchgirl defy him so.

Harley carefully turned and took the girl by her shoulders, kneeling down to her level before she spoke. "What's your name, you sweet little bunny?" she asked, smiling and gently wiping the tears from the girl's face with her red gloved hand.

The girl backed up a step then, realizing at that moment, despite what it seemed like, Harley could have just as well been as dangerous as the Joker in some ways. Even if Harley did seem less frightening at that time, the girl wasn't letting her complete guard down just yet. "M-my name's Sophie," she nervously replied. "S-Sophie Pieska." She gulped before continuing. "A-and I know who _you_ are, Miss...Miss Crazy Clown, Harley Quinn."

 _"Crazy Clown?"_ Harley whooped with a loud, high-pitched giggle. "Oh, what a _hoot!"_ She winked at the girl with a smile. "Ya got something _wrong_ there, sweet cheeks. I'm _not_ a clown. I'm a _harlequin!"_

Sophie was silent as she stared at Harley in confusion. Even if Harley had denied being a clown, she hadn't denied being crazy, which was _exactly_ what she was afraid of.

"Well, _anyway,"_ Harley continued loudly, unphased at the silence. "My _real_ name's Harleen Quinzel. Pleased to meetcha!" She stuck her hand out for a proper introduction, but Sophie just stared at her hand as if it would bite her. "But, you can call me Harley. _Everyone_ does."

The Joker came to life again at that moment, startling Sophie so much that she gasped and fell over backward onto the floor. "This is _no_ time to play Mommy, Pooh!" He angrily pointed his knife at the wide-eyed Sophie, who was now trembling on the ground. "That little ocean-eyed _rat_ ruined my operation and she's _not_ gonna get away with it!"

Harley sighed and patted his shoulder like a teacher scolding a young student. "Look at it _this_ way, Puddin'. B-Man never showed up, _and_ we all got away with no harm done. We still have time to finish the operation later," she pointed out, calmly. "Now, you just run along and leave us girls alone for a while...and I _promise_ I'll make it worth your while, later." She paused, giving him a wink and a squeeze of his shoulder. "If y'know what I mean."

Rock and Hev chuckled a little as they watched the Joker's face change from angry to mischievous. He grinned a yellow-toothed grin and did as he was told. Harley knew the best way to get Joker to shut up was to offer what only she could give him, and it worked every time. The Joker may have despised Harley on some days, but he was, after all, still just a man.

Harley noticed the two slimy henchmen eyeing Sophie and nudging each other, and it angered her. "You boys get outta here, too!" she snapped. "It's girls-only...so _get_ out of here!"

Harley somersaulted directly at them, and with an infuriated roundhouse kick, she knocked them both off their feet with ease. Sophie's mouth dropped open in shock as she saw how intensely strong and unapologetic Harley was. Still, as Sophie's heart raced in her chest, she wondered what kind of trouble she'd be in once she was left alone with someone like that. As Harley cartwheeled back to her, Sophie gasped loudly and quickly stood up, taking a few nervous steps backward. Now that she was trapped in their crazed house of madness, Sophie wondered if she would ever come out _alive,_ again. She was afraid of everyone around her: the Joker, the henchmen, and Harley Quinn, too. Sophie could feel her eyes begin to water as she stood near the crazy harlequin, not knowing what would happen, next.

Harley grinned. "Well, now that _they're_ outta the way!" She reached out her hand towards Sophie, but Sophie flinched and took a terrified step backward.

 _"Hey!_ What's the big idea?" Harley demanded, loudly, noticing the apparent fear that Sophie showed. She crossed her arms over her chest and frowned. "What're you so _scared,_ for, anyway? I'm just trying to be _friendly!_ I didn't even _do_ anything!"

Harley had meant the question to sound gentle, but Sophie didn't take it as such, and she unwillingly started to cry again. She crumpled to her knees out of distress, fear, and pure exhaustion. Sophie had no idea whether or not Harley was as dangerous as she thought, but she couldn't get past the idea that Harley was capable of doing unspeakable things to her if she really _wanted_ to.

Harley's face dropped in an instant, and she gasped, kneeling down also. She kindly put her hands on Sophie's trembling shoulders, smiling a half-smile. "Oh, I'm such a _dummy!_ Of _course,_ you're scared around us. I mean, it's _us!_ You're probably scared outta your _mind_ around here, aren'tcha, kid?" Harley gently twirled one of Sophie's tiny blonde pigtails with her finger as she spoke. "Hey, I'm sorry, kiddo. I didn't mean to scare you more than you already _are. Honest!"_

Sophie's loud sobs turned into quiet sniffles as she listened. She slowly looked up after hearing Harley speak so calmly and quietly. She blinked back tears as she looked into Harley's sincere eyes, and she managed to crack a tiny smile.

Harley smiled a little, too. "You _really_ don't have anything to worry about, sweetheart. You can trust me. I'm _not_ gonna hurtcha. I _promise!"_

Sophie hadn't forgotten that Harley _had_ stopped the Joker from potentially killing her only moments before, so she at least had a _little_ credibility as a nice girl. Sophie was able to relax, but only just a bit. She wiped the tears away from her eyes and sat down, Indian-style, biting her lip as she glanced at Harley, nervously. "Really?" she squeaked out, nervously.

Harley sat down next to her with a light-hearted laugh. _"Really._ So, how's about it, huh? _Do_ you trust this funny harlequin, or _what?"_ Harley asked, giving Sophie a playful nudge. Harley had a childlike glint in her eyes, and she playfully stuck her tongue out at Sophie in an attempt of making her laugh. It definitely worked, as Sophie burst into loud, flittering giggles that echoed throughout the hideout. Harley grinned widely at hearing her deafening laughter, and she slowly, softly cupped Sophie's face in her hands. Sophie luckily didn't flinch that time. "Hey, y'know something, kid?" Harley said, looking into Sophie's huge, dark blue eyes. "I think you're just the _cutest_ little thing I've _ever_ seen! Why, with those huge sparkling eyes of yours and your _sweet_ wittle squishy cheeks, you remind me of a chubby baby bunny that everybody should just _cuddle_ all the time! You'd definitely make a _killin'_ in the right outfit on a corner!" Harley gushed, not realizing the horribly inappropriate profession she had just suggested to her young, underaged companion. "I could _never_ hurt something as _cute_ as you, kid!"

Sophie gasped in shock as Harley jerked her into a tight hug, still holding onto her face. "B-but, you said if you caught me, that you'd feed _pieces_ of me to the fishes," she mumbled through her smushed face. Harley released her, her eyes widening. "I-I heard you say that when I was stuck in the trunk!"

Harley waved her hands in the air, dismissing the remark like it was nothing. "Oh, that's just tough talkin', kid. That would take _way_ too long to do! I mean, if _really_ I wanted to, I could just _shootcha_ right now and be _done_ with it. Easy-peasy one, two, threesy! Like _this!"_ Harley made her two fingers like a gun and pointed them directly at Sophie's face. _"Bang!"_

Sophie flinched and let out a tiny gasp.

"That would be _much_ faster, y'know," Harley said, with a chuckle. _"Messier,_ sure. But _faster? Absolutely!"_

Upon hearing how nonchalantly Harley spoke about disposing of her, Sophie felt weak, and her throat tightened. The simple fact remained that she was surrounded by killers and she had no means of escaping in case they ever got the idea. No amount of hugs or kisses from Harley could change that fact, and deep down, she had to remember that. Sophie couldn't stop the tears flowing down her cheeks, and she carefully scooted back, gasping for air as her heart pounded with fear once again.

Harley slapped herself on the forehead after realizing what she'd said. Of _course,_ she'd frightened the kid once more, and she felt like an idiot. "Oh, Harl, you and your big _mouth!"_ She took ahold of Sophie's arm, causing her to involuntarily flinch again. "Listen, little bunny," Harley said, quietly, gently releasing her grip on Sophie's arm. "You don't gotta be scared of me, _really_. I'm not _so_ bad. Look!" Harley pulled off her headpiece and mask and wiped off her face makeup, revealing her pretty blonde hair and normal-looking face. "Without my costume, there's nothing scary about me _now,_ huh?" She chuckled a little and tapped on the top of her head. "Well, unless my pesky _roots_ are starting to show, that is!"

Sophie stopped crying after a moment and slowly looked at Harley, unmasked. Suddenly, without her mask, Harley really _didn't_ seem at all threatening or dangerous, and it calmed Sophie a great deal to be able to see her like that. "Oh, _hey!_ It really _is_ just a costume! Like for Halloween or somethin'," she managed to say, quietly. "You _do_ look normal!"

"Right-a-rooni, cutie! I'm just as normal as _you_ are." Harley paused and shrugged. "Well, at least, I _think_ I am. The folks down at Arkham might think otherwise, though," she mumbled. "But, anyway, we're friends now, and I _promise_ I'm _not_ gonna hurt you, okay?"

Sophie bit her lip.

"Do you _believe_ me?" Harley asked, smiling a little.

Sophie smiled a little more and scooted back closer beside Harley, her nerves calming somewhat. Sophie finally found herself believing Harley's promise of not hurting her, and she only hoped her naïve thinking wouldn't get her killed in the end. "Yeah," she said finally, as a small, relieved smile formed on her face. "I believe you, Harley."

"So, listen. As your new friend, lemme give ya a _little_ helpful advice for the future, okay?" Harley said, seriously. "It's _pro_ -ba-bly not in your best interest to _ever_ rat out criminals of _any_ kind, no matter _who_ they are. Not unless you _do_ wanna end up being fish food, I mean. Not everybody's as nice as we...uh... _I_ am. 'Cause if somebody like _Two-Face_ or somethin' found you in the trunk of _his_ car after hearing you called the coppers on him, you'd be _dead_ before the sun came up!"

Sophie nodded, gulping. "Well, at least _he_ woulda gotten lucky. I mean, if I fell into the trunk of _their_ car, too, it sure would make it easy for them to _find_ me. I guess _I'm_ a good criminal, too, huh?" Sophie rolled her eyes in annoyance. "I assisted myself in kidnapping... _myself."_

Harley was silent for a moment, then she burst into giggles. "Oh, kid. That's so true...and so _hilarious!"_

Sophie frowned and her cheeks turned even pinker as she blushed. She definitely found nothing funny about her current situation...especially the clumsy conditions which led to it. Harley noticed the sour look on Sophie's face and it only made her snicker louder.

"Well, _I_ don't think it's so _funny,"_ Sophie grumbled, quietly.

Harley giggled. "Y'gotta admit...it _is_ kinda funny! You really did _help_ out with your own accidental abduction! That's the _funniest_ thing I think I've ever heard!"

"Oh yeah, it's _so_ hilarious," Sophie huffed, a huge frown forming on her face.

"Aw, c'mon, cutie pie. Turn that frown upside down!" Harley laughed more heartily than she had in a long while.

Sophie ignored the remark and still remained just as serious as could be. She crossed her arms over her chest. "I _won't!"_

Harley stopped her own laughing and turned serious. "Hey, listen here, you little bunny. If you're gonna hang out with _me_ , then you gotta learn to _laugh_ a little. It's _required_ , and you _are_ gonna _do_ it. The first step is learning how to laugh at _yourself!"_

Sophie narrowed her eyes. "Oh, _really?"_

Harley frowned. "Yes, _really."_ Harley lifted a finger to say something more, but the moment she did, Sophie's eyes grew wide and she flinched a little. Harley's intuition told her that it was a _different_ kind of terrified flinch, and she suddenly got a clever idea she that just _had_ to try.

Sophie straightened up. "You're _nuts,_ y'know that? No matter _what_ you do, I won't _ever_ say that my stupid little blunder was funny, and I _won't_ laugh about it. I absolutely, one-hundred-percent _won't!"_

"Oh, yes you _will,"_ Harley replied, her eyes narrowing just as much as Sophie's were. A sudden sly grin formed on her face, and, slowly uncrossing her arms, she wiggled her fingers, menacingly. "Whether you like it or _not!"_

Before Sophie knew what was happening, Harley reached out towards her, and, with as much force as she could manage, she grabbed Sophie around her middle and started tickling her ribcage. In an instant, Sophie burst into a fit of loud, uncontrollable, and obviously, deathly-ticklish giggles that Harley truly hadn't counted on. Harley then grinned, widely. She had unknowingly found her new little friend's apparent weakness, and she was going to be sure to use it to her advantage if she needed to.

"Oh, you're not so strong, _now,_ are ya, kid?" Harley asked, as Sophie fell onto her back the harder Harley tickled her. Sophie's high-pitched laughter echoed throughout the hideout, and Harley was surprised the walls didn't come falling down. "C'mon, sweetie pie! I gotcha _now!_ You better say it was _funny,_ or you're _really_ gonna get it!" Harley dug her fingers deeper into Sophie's ribs and stomach even harder than before, and Sophie didn't stand a chance once Harley really put her mind to it.

Sophie gasped, giggling and squirming with no hope of escape. _"O-okay!"_ she shrieked, laughing to the point that she started to snort a little. Upon hearing that, Harley laughed, too. "I-I guess it _was_ kinda f-funny, okay?" Sophie managed to blurt out through her giggles and snorts.

Harley grinned and finally stopped her torture, laughing more herself when she saw how hysteric Sophie had become because of how ticklish she really was. After she was free of being forced to smile, Sophie sat up and still tried her best to keep her previous scowl, which just made Harley laugh even more. She gave Sophie a few more quick warning pokes in her sides, making her flinch and snicker little.

"Looks like _I_ just found out the best _and_ the _easiest_ way to make you laugh, didn't I?" Harley asked, cheekily. "Miss 'I'm-not-ever-gonna-laugh-at-myself' isn't as tough as she _thinks_ she is, _is_ she?"

Sophie narrowed her eyes. "Yeah, yeah. It's easy if you _cheat_ like that!"

Harley grinned. "Hey, gimme a break, kid! I'm a criminal, after all. Cheating is how I get ahead in life. It's made me what I am, today!" She crossed her arms over her chest, smugly. "Clever as a fox and smart as a whip. That's _me!"_

Sophie grinned back. "And _humble,_ too, hm?" she giggled. "Aren't _you_ just the brightest crayon in the box?"

Harley laughed. "Well, not _all_ the time. Actually, I gotta hand it to you, kiddo! You were so good at hiding from us when we were at the warehouse, I didn't know _what_ was going on!"

Sophie grinned, widely and felt herself blush a little.

"I mean, I _knew_ I kept hearing things up on the roof, but I never saw anything! I was totally _spooked!"_ Harley shook her head. "I _really_ thought I was losing my mind and I was just imagining things...well, until I _saw_ you through the window!"

Sophie broke into sincere, non-induced giggles, then. "You think _you_ were spooked? I almost had a _heart_ attack when I saw _you_...see _me!"_ She giggled again. "That's why I lost my footing, I think. I was so scared you guys were gonna catch me that I was shaking like a milkshake, and then I just fell straight down into the trunk of danger." Sophie laughed at her "trunk of danger" joke, which sent Harley into loud laughter as well upon noticing how much Sophie was getting a kick out of what she'd said.

"Yeah, you gotta work on _not_ shaking like a milkshake. Maybe _then_ you coulda gotten away from us, huh?" Harley said, still laughing as she jabbed Sophie once again on her sides, causing her to snort with laughter again. Harley grinned from ear to ear when she heard it. That seemed to be what happened at the height of Sophie's laughter level, and Harley found it ridiculously adorable. "Then again, you little _piggy,"_ she teased, giving her stomach another hard squeeze to prove her theory. Sophie's loud giggling snort was evidence enough, and Harley's eyes sparkled with her widening grin. "Maybe _not!"_

Sophie grinned and giggled as she carefully pushed Harley's menacing fingers away from her ticklish tummy. "Oh, _trust_ me. I _won't_ be spying on _any_ more criminals anytime soon no matter _how_ curious I am." She blew her bangs off her forehead. "I don't think I could _survive_ it!"

Harley snickered. "Well, _that's_ good to hear Better luck the next time, S.P!" After a second, she gasped a little, and a small smiled formed on her face. "Hey! That's pretty funny, huh? Your initials, Sophie Pieska...S.P. That sounds a lot like "sweetie," doesn't it? Sweetie Pieska...or," Harley grinned. _"Sweetie Pie!_ Get it?"

Sophie giggled, again. "I never thought of that!"

Harley grinned and shrugged her shoulders. "Well, with a name like Harley Quinzel being turned into _"harlequin"_ more times than I could remember, I have an ear for this kinda thing, I guess!"

Despite having their girl talk bonding time, the two girls didn't notice that Rock and Hev had been hiding out in the shadows at that time, rolling their eyes at their silly conversations. They were just biding their time…waiting for their golden chance to strike. They agreed with Harley's earlier remark - they both thought Sophie was a cutie, too, and were just itching for a taste of just how cute she could be.

Hev nudged Rock and walked back into the room, slowly and carefully. "Yo, Harley. The Boss wants to see you. He says you'd better get back there, _pronto._ He's ready for the _...business_ with you."

Harley's eyes grew wide, and she squealed with delight as she jerked her headpiece back onto her head. "He's ready for business _already_ , huh? Well, I hope he's really _ready_ for it!"

Sophie jumped up, too. "Business? What kinda business? Financial stuff?"

Rock chuckled as he walked away. "Yeah, right, kid. _Financial_ stuff."

Once Sophie realized what she'd said, she found herself blushing yet again at her stupidity. After a moment, she was able to realize just what Harley meant by, "business," and she slapped her forehead with the palm of her hand.

Harley burst out laughing, too. "Y'know something? I think I'm gonna bust a gut with every word you say, kid! _You_ are a real comedic little _clown."_ Harley playfully ruffled Sophie's hair. "Unfortunately," she scoffed lightly. "Given my puddin's track record, I'll be back _sooner_ rather than later!" As she started to walk away, she suddenly turned around and looked at Sophie, her eyes wide. "So..." Harley began, biting her lip, nervously. "So...don't go anywhere, okay, sweetie pie?"

Sophie nodded, and couldn't help but smile as she heard the seemingly sweet tone of Harley's voice. In an instant, though, Harley took a few steps closer to her as she narrowed her eyes and reached her hands out with her fingers curled, menacingly. "Or _else!"  
_  
Sophie gasped and gulped, her eyes widening with fright. Harley chuckled and pinched Sophie's cheeks, playfully. "Hey, I'm just _kiddin'!"_

"Oh," Sophie giggled, taking a huge sigh of relief, rolling her eyes and grinning. "Yeah! Of _course,_ you are!"

As Harley laughed and sprinted off, eager for the "business" with the Joker, Sophie took a deep breath, looking around at her surroundings. The Joker's hideout seemed much more frightening now that she was alone. She saw all the random toys scattered everywhere and had to smile a little, despite everything. She giggled to herself as she imagined someone as tough as the Joker playing with toys, and she wondered if the majority of them didn't belong to Harley. Sophie gathered that Harley seemed like she would be the most interested in them, and she smiled, laughing at that thought. Sophie noticed a tiny clown doll that eerily resembled The Clown Prince himself, and she stopped laughing in an instant. Admittedly, the Joker and his wild temper still scared her, and seeing a tiny replica of him didn't make her feel any better. Scanning the rest of the place, she caught sight of the front door. Sophie knew all she had to do was make a quick break for it, and she could escape her "captors" as easy as pie. Even so, something about the way Harley had asked...almost pleaded with her not to go anywhere made Sophie not _want_ to go anywhere at that moment. Sophie decided that morally, she just couldn't, and _wouldn't_ leave for good without saying a proper goodbye to her new… _friend,_ Harley. She supposed it was the _least_ she could do seeing as Harley _had_ stopped her psychotic clown boyfriend from slicing her up with his knife, and had been genuinely kind to her since then. Sophie knew it was outrageous to stick around a dangerous place just because she didn't want to hurt the feelings of a crazy clown girl she had just met, but, if she was honest with herself, she actually _liked_ Harley despite the things she _thought_ she knew about her. Sophie grinned as she realized that the seemingly sweet and caring Harley Quinn she had just spent time with was most likely _not_ the same one that Batman angrily fought against almost on a daily basis. Sophie almost laughed at the thought of Harley being as nice and caring to Batman as she was to her. Although, as Sophie turned back around, her grin faded in a heartbeat, and she gasped out in shock. Rock and Hev were now both standing in front of her, almost like a huge brick wall. Her stomach dropped as she looked up at the two big thugs.

"Harley was _right,_ wasn't she, Hev? This kid probably _is_ the cutest little thing I've ever seen," said Rock, with an evil, sly grin.

Sophie backed up nervously as the two men advanced towards her. "I-I'm actually n-not _that_ cute, I-I promise," she stuttered.

Hev licked his lips, again, and Sophie felt sick with fear. "Oh, I bet we can find _something_ cute about you if we look _hard_ enough."

Sophie gasped again, feeling her eyes well with tears as she watched the two bloodthirsty men advance towards her. "No! Leave me alone!" Sophie cried, her eyes spilling over with tears. She knew with her tiny frame, her chance of escaping or overpowering them was less than zero. Both men towered over her, and she felt as if she would faint.

Rock grabbed Sophie's arm and held on tightly. "How about _I_ go first, Hev? You can have seconds, alright? I'm just _raring_ to go."

Sophie tried to kick and punch him, but her attempts were futile against his rock-hard body. "Stop it! Leave me alone!"

Rock ignored her pleas and shoved Sophie hard onto the ground, making her wince in pain.

Sophie tried with all her strength to kick and scratch him as her eyes brewed fresh, terrified tears. "Stop! _Stop_ it!" she screamed, still fighting as hard as she could. Hev kneeled beside them and pinned her legs down until she was completely unable to move. _"No!"_ was the last breathless, sobbing word Sophie could choke out before she saw the huge brown mallet come swinging over her head and crack into Rock's left shoulder.

Rock flew backward, causing Hev to gasp and let go of Sophie's legs in an instant. Sophie's eyes were still cloudy from her tears, but as she sat up quickly, she saw a swift flash of red and black swing the huge object again, this time hitting Hev on his head.

"If _either_ one of you slimy, disgusting pigs _ever_ lay a so much as a _finger_ on that kid again, I'll _bash_ your skulls in! You got that?" Harley screamed so loudly that Sophie's stomach dropped at the sound of pure rage in her voice.

Hev nodded as Rock rubbed his throbbing head.

 _"Geez! Relax,_ Harl! We were just havin' a little fun! We weren't gonna do nothing, honest!" Hev mumbled, in annoyance.

Harley's answer came as a swing from her mallet right on Hev's temple. He fell backward into a crate of boxes, knocking them to the ground.

"Yeah well. Just _try_ it again. I _dare_ ya!" Harley fumed.

Now, Hev was able to rub his own wounded head as he and Rock shuffled away, grumbling to themselves. Harley threw her mallet to the side as Sophie stood up, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.

"Are you okay, sweetie?" Harley asked, walking over to Sophie with eyes filled with concern. "I figured those two _idiots_ had set me up once my puddin' kicked me out of the room just as soon as I came in," she said, angrily shaking her head. "But, don't worry. I'll make 'em pay, later, _that's_ for sure!"

Before any other thought came to her mind, Sophie threw her arms out and hugged Harley as tightly as she could. "Oh, Harley! You…you _saved_ me!" she gasped. "You _saved_ me _again!"_

Harley chuckled loudly, but her laughter soon turned into chokes, gasping for air as Sophie's death grip around her chest grew tighter. "Hey, easy there, kiddo! You're crushin' my lungs!"

Sophie gasped and released her rescuer from the bone-crunching hug, blushing again. "Oh, I'm so sorry! It's just...if you didn't come when you did, then-"

Harley waved her hand to shush her. She didn't want to think about what would have happened, otherwise, she might have just gone ahead and disposed of both Rock and Hev at that very moment. "Yeah, yeah. I know what coulda happened. If they know what's _good_ for them they'll stay _away_ from me for a while."

Sophie felt her emotions running wild, and she wasn't sure why, but she hugged Harley once more, making sure it was with a bit less intensity than before. "Y'know something, Harley?" she said, grinning happily. "You're not at _all_ as scary as I first thought you were! You're actually really... _nice!"_

Harley laughed and found herself hugging Sophie back without thinking twice about it. She was getting a comforting, warm feeling, almost as if Sophie was radiating sunshine all around the room. "Hey, I kinda feel like I should be _insulted_ by that remark, kid! I mean, I have a _reputation_ to protect, y'know!"

Sophie snickered. "Nooo, I don't mean it as an insult!" she said, grinning as well. "I just mean...I'm _glad_ you're not as scary as I thought! At first, I...I was scared 'cause I thought you were gonna hurt me like you guys wanna hurt the police and Batman and everybody else, but you...you _didn't!"_ She paused, bit her lip, and continued quietly. "It...it _does_ make me feel better knowing you're not as scary as I always heard you were."

Harley couldn't stop grinning the more she talked to her newest young friend. "Oh, make no mistake about that, little bunny. I _am_ scary sometimes, but," she gently cupped Sophie's face in her hands and brushed her chubby freckled cheeks with her thumbs for a few seconds. "Just for the record, I would _never_ try and hurt you, cutie. _You_ are the only one I can comfortably say who gets a free, non-expirable pass on that!" She grinned. "And that's only 'cause I _like_ you so much!"

Sophie grinned and felt relieved after hearing Harley's words. Giggling, she plopped down on top of a wooden box with the words, "Practical Jokes" scrawled in red and blue writing. "Well, but I think you almost broke _those_ huge guys' heads with your giant baseball bat thingy! I bet _that_ hurt _them,_ huh?"

Harley laughed, loudly. "No, sweetie. It's not a baseba-"

Sophie's quiet laughter turned louder, and she quickly covered her mouth with her hands as to try not to disturb the Joker, whatever he was doing in the back. "Almost like you turned their heads into puzzle pieces!" she shrieked through muffled giggles, hardly able to contain herself. "Like little squishy pink brain-y puzzle pieces!" Just the absurdity of the idea had her snorting with laughter, unable to breathe. Her tiny pigtails were bouncing as she couldn't stop the loud belly laughter that erupted when she thought of the silliness of it all.

Harley shook her head and started laughing too. She didn't really come into contact with many children at all, but she wondered if this was Sophie's real, normal, "non-petrified" personality, she seemed to be one of the happiest kids she'd _ever_ seen, complete with the loudest, most infectious laughter she'd ever heard. Harley was having a really great time being with her. Every time Sophie laughed so hard she snorted, Harley couldn't help but laugh, too. Being around such a happy person made her feel so happy inside as well, and she honestly didn't want the night to end. As she glanced up at a clock on the wall, she noticed it ticked a little before midnight.

"Heh," Harley commented quietly, with a small smile. "Looks like Mister J is gonna miss his midnight snack."

Sophie stopped giggling and looked at the clock. "Oh _wow,_ we stayed up really _late,_ didn't we?" She shrugged. "Well, I usually stay up way later than this, anyway." She suddenly started giggling. "My favorite thing is staying up until the sun rises. It's so _beautiful!"_

Harley's smile broke into a grin. _"Geez,_ kid! Do you ever _stop_ giggling?" she asked, trying to sound serious, but also unable to keep a straight face as a huge smile spread across her face. Sophie laughed even harder at Harley's comment, and Harley wondered if she didn't accidentally spray herself with some of the Joker's toxin at some point while she'd been in their hideout.

Sophie suddenly straightened up and looked at Harley, seriously. "Yeah, I _do,"_ she said, sternly. She was able to hold in her giggles for about five seconds before they erupted, again. "Oh, but sometimes I just can't _help_ it!"

As Harley grinned wider and shook her head, she couldn't hide the sadness that came slowly creeping in. Harley stole another look at the clock as it neared closer to midnight, and as much as she dreaded to think about it, she knew it was probably much too late for Sophie to be away from her parents and that she had to go back to her family. The last thing they needed was police raiding their party because they found out they'd literally _accidentally_ kidnapped somebody's insanely happy, sunny, and giggly daughter.

"So," Harley began, sadly. She cleared her throat as a small, depressed frown appeared on her face. She picked up Sophie's jacket off the floor, brushed it off, and slowly handed it back to her. "I guess...I guess you better get goin', huh? Your parents are probably worried _sick_ about you, right now. I bet they really _miss_ you so much, already. I mean," she glanced at the ground for a second, her heart suddenly, weirdly, starting to ache. She slowly slinked down and sat on the floor, almost dejected. "I know _I_ would."

Sophie managed to stop laughing for a moment as she took the jacket, but she still didn't wipe the grin off her face. "Well," she giggled. "Maybe they _would_ , but...I don't…I don't..." her voice trailed off.

Harley looked up. "You don't _what?"_ she demanded, curiously.

Sophie paused for a split second before answering. "I don't _have_ any parents."

Harley gasped, her mouth dropping open. "Y-you don't _have_ any parents? But, why _not?"_

Sophie smiled weakly, shrugging her shoulders. "Well, 'cause...'cause I'm an orphan."

"An _orphan?"_ Harley didn't care that she sounded like a parrot...she simply couldn't believe what she was hearing. "You're..." her voice trailed off, and she gulped. "Are you _really_ an orphan?"

Sophie nodded. "Yeah. I mean...who knows _where_ my Dad is," she said, smiling a little at Harley's apparent shocked reaction. "Apparently, he didn't _want_ a kid, so when he found out about me, he just hopped on the first train outta Gotham and never looked back." She shrugged her shoulders. "Good riddance, I say."

Harley's eyes grew wide, and she gasped again. "But, what happened to your mom? Surely you had a m _om,_ right?"

Sophie looked into Harley's eyes carefully before continuing, but something about the look she saw made her oddly relax. "Well, yeah I _had_ a Mom. Her name was Emilia, but...I wouldn't exactly _call_ her a mom. She...she wasn't so _good_ at it," Sophie finally said, with a tiny smile. "On my 4th birthday she promised to take me out for some ice cream, so we drove downtown. I was so happy, 'cause she never did _...motherly_ things like that. She never even bought me a single stuffed animal or any toys at all. Isn't that _crazy?"_ Sophie chuckled. "So, I used to play with knives, credit cards, and whatever other things she and her friends used to leave laying around the apartment. One time, I was trying to make a sandcastle with some stuff that I thought was white, powdered sugar. She got so _mad_ when she saw the mess I made!" Sophie snickered a little as she remembered the time. "I thought her eyes were gonna _pop_ out of her head like popcorn! But, after that," Sophie continued, her smile growing weaker. "Emilia told me how she _hated_ being a mom, that I was just a huge mistake...and that she wished she had _never_ had me. She said I _ruined_ her life and she wished she had a do-over _without_ me in it." Sophie looked at Harley in total seriousness, but still somehow managed to bring a smile back to her face. "Really _great_ things to tell to your pre-schooler, huh?" Sophie said, with a little scoff. "Well, the day we were supposed to go for birthday ice cream, Mom let me out on the curb and told me to wait. She promised she would come back for me, and I just had to wait a few minutes for her." Sophie closed her eyes for a moment, then opened them before she spoke again. She giggled a bit. "Wait a few _minutes. Right_. I _waited_ the _whole_ day, but...but she just...never came back for me."

Harley gasped a third time, covering her mouth with her hand. She absolutely couldn't believe it. _"_ Oh, _sweetie_."

"I guess that's _one_ easy way of letting go of motherhood, huh? Just dump your kid on the side of the road and forget about her." Sophie shrugged. "Well, anyway, later that evening, a girl saw me on the street and started talking to me, and then after that, the police came. They...they made some calls, and I got sent to an orphanage, like, an hour later. Apparently, Mom never even looked for me, and the police couldn't track her down, either. So, she got the do-over she always wanted. By getting rid of me, she got to get rid of motherhood forever."

Harley's eyes got wide. _"Oh…"_

Sophie smiled, although almost painfully. "I mean, I guess it's bad to say, but, she never really _felt_ like a mom to me, anyway. She never played with me or paid any attention to me. " Sophie paused. "I...I honestly don't even think she _loved_ me. I could feel that even when I was really little. So, when she left me, I...I was _confused_ at first, of course, but...the more I thought about it, the more I realized I never really _missed_ her, _too_ much, and..." her voice trailed off a bit. "Honestly, I feel really guilty, but, after all these years...she never really crosses my mind at all. I don't really feel _anything_ towards her, anymore." Sophie's eyes grew very serious and watery as she stared at Harley, who had been listening so intently. She felt weirdly comfortable talking to Harley about those things, so she didn't stop, there. "Is…is that a terrible thing to say about your mom, Harley? That...that you don't even think about her anymore?"

Harley shook her head, seriously. "No, sweetie. It isn't at all. I mean, it's kinda hard to feel close to someone like that...even if they _are_ your mother or not. And you were so young, it's a hard thing to process how you're _supposed_ to feel about her." Harley felt the psychologist in her slowly start to poke through as she spoke. "It's _not_ your fault that you didn't miss her when she left you, or that you don't feel anything about her now. You shouldn't feel _any_ guilt about that, okay?"

Sophie broke into a huge smile. "Oh, thank you _so_ much for saying that!" She chuckled nervously. "Geez. Y'know what's so _weird?"_ She shook her head. "I...I haven't ever told _anybody_ all of that before," she admitted, sheepishly. "I just...haven't ever had any friends _to_ tell it to. I think I talk _way_ too much when I feel comfortable around somebody. I've always been like that." Sophie looked at the ground. "I'm _really_ sorry."

Harley grinned. "Don't _ever_ apologize for talking too much, sweetie. I think it's a _blessing_ rather than a curse!" She laughed heartily, meaning everything sincerely. "And anyway, I was a psychologist, after all, so I was always _used_ to people talking to me. You can talk to me _forever_ if you want to! Even if I _wasn't_ a psychologist, I wouldn't mind it one _bit."_

Sophie smiled, gratefully. "Thanks, Harley. I guess..." Sophie felt her cheeks start to blush. "I guess _you_ make me feel really comfortable, 'cause I talked for a _long_ time!" she giggled.

Harley grinned. "No complaints, here!"

Sophie scoffed, a little. "Oh, my mom _definitely_ complained about it. She used to tell me all the time that the worst day of her life, other than the day I was born, of course, was when I learned how to talk...'cause I would never shut up!"

Harley shook her head in disbelief. _"Geez,_ what a b..." she paused, hesitating. _"Witch._ I mean, despite the obvious _awful_ thing she did to you, she sounds like a real piece of work! I bet she was a lot of fun at _parties,_ huh?"

Sophie's smile grew larger as she felt more comfortable, still. "Not that she ever _went_ to any, but I doubt she would've been a favorite, there. My mom _never_ smiled, and she never _ever_ laughed. I mean," she giggled, loudly. "Maybe, in the end, I got _lucky._ If she didn't get rid of me, _I_ could have turned out to be just as miserable as _her!"_

Harley smiled weakly. "I couldn't imagine _that!_ " She jumped up and playfully pinched Sophie's nose a few times and gently jerked her head back and forth, making her giggle and snort when she couldn't breathe through it for a second. "You're like, the _happiest_ little clown I've ever met!"

"Yeah. I just _love_ to be happy!" Sophie giggled. "I mean, how can somebody _not?_ " She threw her hands in the air for emphasis. "I honestly, _sincerely_ think that no matter _what_ happens to you in your life, there are _so_ many reasons to be happy if you just _look_ for them. Don't you think so?"

Harley grinned. "Yeah. Yeah, I think so."

"That's why I think it's so _easy_ to be happy even if crappy things _do_ happen to you." Sophie's eyes glowed. "I mean, the way I see it is...you gotta remember that tomorrow is _still_ another day, and you _can't_ just always feel sorry or sad for yourself 'cause that doesn't do _anyone_ any good at all!" Sophie stared at Harley, her eyes sparkling brighter still as she broke into a dimpled grin. "I mean, why would you wanna be sad when you can be _happy,_ instead?"

Harley swallowed hard as she looked into Sophie's huge, sweet, innocent eyes. She shook her head before she could speak again. "Geez, kid. I just don't _get_ it. How is it possible that somebody doesn't wanna adopt a sweet little nugget like _you_ from an orphanage?"

"Oh, I had _plenty_ of people who wanted to adopt me." Sophie batted her eyes and couldn't help but giggle a bit. She put both hands under her chin, angelically. "I mean, c'mon. Just _look_ at me! I'm freakin' _adorable!"_

Harley burst out laughing, definitely unable to disagree with that statement. She sat back down on the ground, and Sophie climbed down from the box and sat down next to her, suddenly turning a bit more serious.

"Well, I _had_ plenty...but, as it turned out, they just didn't stick." Sophie smiled a little as she rubbed her eyes and yawned. "I was the laughing stock at the orphanage because of that. The other kids used to say that I'd _never_ find a family, 'cause nobody ever liked me enough to keep me forever. The other girls also loved to beat me up 'cause I was so much _smaller_ than they were, and they saw me as an easy target. Not like I could help it that I was short like my mom, though." She rolled her eyes. "Thank goodness for petite genes when it's definitely _not_ helpful! They used to tease me about _that,_ on top of everything else. It certainly _was_ the hard-knock life for me in some ways." She giggled, quietly. "I mean, when I was 9, I was the size of a 6-year-old, so I never stood a chance at trying to _fight_ against anyone bigger than me...which was almost _all_ of them. I actually got the orphanage people to let me join a cheerleading squad only 'cause I thought to learn all those jumps and kicks would come in handy someday, and it did. I could out-flip and get away from those bully kids without even trying! I couldn't beat them up, so I just flipped and cartwheeled away from them like an acrobat...and then I _cheered_ them up about it, like a clown at the circus." Sophie burst into giggles at her joke, making Harley laugh, too. "The kids used to say I was a tiny, weird, flipping freak." Sophie shrugged her shoulders. "But, y'wanna know something, Harley? I'd rather be a _freak_ than be _boring,_ any day," she said, slowly draping her jacket over the corner of the box. She sleepily draped her arm over the box and lay her head against it like a pillow. "Well, anyway, in the end, being stuck in that orphanage just wasn't for me, so I split two years ago. I just didn't want to waste my time there, anymore. Now, I get to go wherever I want, sleep wherever I want, and especially _play_ whenever I want! It's so _cool!"_

Harley smiled and reached her hand out, gently stroking Sophie's cheek, almost sadly. "Oh, sweetie pie. So, _nobody_ takes care of you?"

"Nope," Sophie said, with a sleepy smile. "But, I don't need anyone. I don't _want_ anyone. I got _me._ That's all I need." Sophie yawned again, wiping her eyes. She was feeling completely exhausted after the day's craziness and it hit her like a bus. "I've been taking care of myself since I ran away from the orphanage when I was nine. I don't _need_ anybody else 'cause they all just leave me, anyway. I've done totally _fine_ by myself on the streets for two years." Sophie managed to smile and give another little giggle. "Y'know what the _best_ part, is? I get to play a never-ending game of hide-and-seek from the cops every day, 'cause if they ever found out I was an orphan street kid they would send me back to that orphanage in a _heartbeat._ I don't _want_ them to send me back, _ever!_ That would _ruin_ all my fun, so, I have to be really sneaky when I'm stealing stuff so they don't catch me. I've always gotta make sure I hide in the best places so nobody sees me in places I _shouldn't_ be. One time I had to throw a tomato at a policewoman 'cause she almost caught me stealing my jacket!" Sophie giggled, quietly. "I hit her _right_ in her head. It was _hilarious!_ I wish I could play with them _all_ the time. They're such _riots!"_ Sophie blew her bangs out of her eyes, slowly. "And hey, y'wanna know the _funniest_ part about today, was?" Sophie slowly blinked her burning eyes. "It's my _birthday_ today, so I was out walking tonight 'cause I wanted to steal myself a cupcake to celebrate. I just _love_ cupcakes! Y'wanna know why?" Sophie didn't wait for an answer before she continued on her rant. "'Cause they're just a smaller version of a cake, but you can put a _whole_ cupcake in your mouth at one time, and I never saw _anybody_ be able to fit a whole cake in there!"

Harley smiled at the logic and brushed Sophie's bangs out of her glassy, tired eyes. She was completely overcome with emotions, and she felt a lump start to form in the back of her throat.

"But, instead of finding a cupcake, I found a new friend. I found _you,_ " Sophie giggled, completely exhausted, at that point. "Or, _you_ found _me_ , I guess. But," she said, sighing heavily. "I've had some pretty bad birthdays in the past, but, y'know what I think?" Sophie couldn't keep her eyes open anymore, and they slowly closed as she was speaking. "I think you're pretty great, Harley, and meeting you was the _best_ birthday present I could've probably _ever_ wished for."

For a long time after that, Harley sat and thought. As she watched Sophie sleep peacefully, Harley couldn't fathom what she had gone through in her short life. As she tucked Sophie's hair behind her ears, Harley wondered how Sophie could have such a sunny disposition like she did, being so unequivocally sweet and happy despite everything that had happened to her in the last decade of her life. Harley had briefly studied child psychology as part of a mandatory side study for her degree, and she would have thought, from a professional point of view, anyway, that Sophie would behave more like a rough, rude, cold-hearted, mean, and savage wildling. Although, Harley scoffed a little at the thought. After merely spending one evening with Sophie, Harley knew she was anything _but_. Having to deal with such mental abuse from such a young age should have had lasting effects on such a seemingly sensitive soul, and Harley was amazed at how Sophie seemed to completely suppress any hurt, anger, or rage she possibly felt. She wondered if maybe, that was her way of coping with such hurt and betrayal: by laughing, smiling, and giggling her way through life. Harley remembered how proud Sophie was when she said she spent her days playing "hide-and-seek" with the GCPD. It seemed that Sophie treated it like some sort of silly childhood game...stealing and causing mischief, all while having to stay one jump ahead of the law so she could always have the fun she had missed out on as a young child. It was something Harley could relate to on some level, and Harley slowly started to see the kid in a new light, sort of like they shared this crazy fun-loving bond with each other. Harley also had the most fun she'd ever had while out doing crazy things with her puddin', so she completely understood the twisted way of thinking that everything was all just fun and games. It was at that moment that Harley took one last look at the sweet, sleeping orphan kid in their hideout, and made up her mind to take immediate action. She slowly stood up, determination in her eyes. As much as she hated Rock and Hev at that moment, she knew she needed their help with some heavy moving. She had lots of work to do, and not a lot of time to do it.


	3. The Joker Completely Loses his Mind

Bright and early the next morning, the vibrant sunbeams shone into the window of the hideout and furiously blazed directly into Sophie's closed eyes. Normally when Sophie awoke, her ears throbbed with random intense noises from the city: sounds of pigeons flapping, dogs barking, cats hissing, babies crying, annoyed pedestrians shouting obscenities at each other as they rushed to their destinations, or the blaring of horns from cars on the street. She usually felt unrested, with pain in her back from her non-successful attempt at trying to make her "bed" softer by crumpling up old newspapers to sleep under. That morning, though, as she slowly rubbed her eyes and began waking up, Sophie heard nothing but calm, peaceful silence around her. On top of that, she felt so well-rested that it was as if she'd had the most peaceful and comfortable night's sleep in the world. All of a sudden, the memories of the previous night came flooding back to her like a rushing waterfall, and she sat up with a start, gasping out loud. It only took a few seconds for Sophie to remember where she was, and she felt her blood run as cold as ice. Sophie knew she'd fallen asleep sitting on the floor when she had been talking to Harley, but to her surprise, she was now sitting on a bed equipped with the softest mattress she'd ever felt before. There were soft pink sheets under her, and she found herself nervously gripping a fluffy pink blanket in her hands. Sophie had a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach when she thought about the enraged Joker from the night before, and she was worried he would wake up and make good on his previous threat to dispose of her. She hastily threw the blanket off her legs and stepped down off the bed, but instead of meeting the cold floor as she had anticipated, she accidentally stepped on something furry, soft, and warm. It was the tail of Lou, one of the Joker and Harley's pet hyenas. Lou yelped out in pain upon the impact of Sophie's foot, and he jumped up, glaring directly at her with his angry eyes. Sophie had never encountered such an animal before, and she shuddered as he stared her up and down.

Sophie chuckled nervously as she carefully scooted back towards the wall with a gulp. "H-hi, little…fluffy…um…ferocious…p-puppy?"

Lou growled loudly in response, the drool dripping off his teeth as he bared them at her.

"Oh, you're _not_ a puppy _are_ you?" Sophie declared, taking in a deep breath.

Lou licked his lips as the saliva fell from his mouth, never stopping the low, angry rumbles that emerged from deep within his throat.

"S-sorry about your tail?" Sophie sputtered meekly, with a sheepish grin on her face.

Sophie gulped and held her breath as Lou suddenly stopped growling and stared at her, his glowing eyes still full of anger. He put his two paws on the bed and sniffed all around her face and neck, inspecting this new, strange thing in his area. His prickly whiskers tickled something terrible, but Sophie was frozen in place, too frightened to move or even breathe. She wondered how long she'd held her breath, but she knew it had to have been some sort of record. Just as she was beginning to feel light-headed from lack of oxygen, Lou suddenly whined and licked her cheek all in one movement, satisfied with his background check. Despite having his tail crushed, he had concluded that this tiny thing was of no real threat to his territory or his family, and he jumped on the bed with her.

Biting her lip nervously, Sophie then sighed with relief as she slowly and carefully reached out to pet him. She was glad he didn't want to eat her as she had previously assumed. She managed a tiny giggle as she stroked the top of his head and his neck, shocked at how soft and warm he was. "Thanks for letting me keep my face attached to my body." Sophie grinned as she ran her fingers all over his fluffy chest, and giggled when he gave her a quick lick on her cheek. He reminded her of a real-life stuffed animal, and she couldn't keep her hands off him. She was so lost in petting his shaggy, spotty fur that she didn't even hear someone enter the room a few seconds later.

"Well, _you_ sure are a lucky one, Blondie!" said the Joker, his voice deep as he laughed.

Sophie gasped as she saw the Joker's menacing silhouette materialize in front of her.

Bud trotted up next to the bed, and Sophie had to hold back a squeal of happiness at seeing there was not only one, but _two_ fluffy animals in the vicinity.

"You managed not to get your limbs _ripped_ off by ol' Lou, here," the Joker added, flashing his trademark yellow grin to her. "What a _shame_."

"W-would he really _do_ that?" Sophie gulped as she looked up at the Joker with wide eyes, still petting his fluffy pelt.

The Joker roared with laughter. "Of _course_ he would! We have _both_ our hyenas trained to tear pesky little _urchins_ like _you_ to shreds. They're big, mean, _killing_ machines, y'know!"

Bud whined pathetically as he watched his brother be fussed over, and he gently scratched his paw on Sophie's leg as he nudged against her. His whines grew louder and more desperate with each passing second she didn't pet him, too. Sophie, feeling somehow braver than the previous night, stiffed back a giggle as Bud jumped on the bed, too. She saw the Joker's face drop the moment both hyenas started to snuggle with her, but she was too caught up in hugging their warm fur to really care. The Joker had intended to frighten Sophie with the hyenas, but both animals had shown just how big softies they were in the end. This infuriated the Joker even more than he already was, and he scowled as he watched them lick her face and behave like two tame puppies. Sophie couldn't help but look up at the Joker, half-smirking at the current way his "dangerous guard dogs" were behaving.

And the Joker was having none of it.

"Don't get too cocky, _Gavroche!"_ the Joker suddenly exploded. Sophie gasped, immediately forgetting to leave any type of smirk she'd had on her face. "Just because Bud and Lou didn't tear your face off doesn't mean that _I_ won't!" As the Joker advanced towards her, Sophie jumped off the bed in shock. "The fact _still_ remains that because of _you,_ a meeting which could have changed the fate of Gotham City was _ruined!"_ he snapped. _"Don't_ think I forgot that! You're _lucky_ I didn't _smother_ you in your sleep last night just to get _rid_ of you!"

Sophie shivered, feeling that now was a better time than ever to skedaddle. "D-don't worry, Mister Joker, s-sir. I-I'll get outta here, pronto!"

As Sophie jumped up and run away, the Joker grabbed her arm and threw her back onto the bed with a _thud._ _"Oh_ no, you don't, Goldilocks! You're not going _anywhere!"_

Sophie's eyes grew wide with fright. "I...I'm _not?"_ she squeaked.

The Joker smiled an evil smile and narrowed his eyes. "No, you're _not."_

For a split second, Sophie wondered if she could make a beeline for the door before the Joker could catch her. She thought if she could kick him in the same manner she had seen Harley do to the thugs last night, knocking him off balance, she _might_ stand a chance of escaping. But, fear suddenly took over all other thoughts of escape, and Sophie was glued in place as she stared up at him, expecting the worst was yet to come. She felt her heartbeat wildly in her chest, and she was extremely light-headed as she pondered her fate. She knew she was a goner, now, and she wondered how the Joker was going to kill her: with his hands, with a knife, with a gun, with poison, or perhaps with another twisted way she dared not imagine.

The Joker balled his fists up as hard as he could and snatched Sophie up with both of his hands. "Now you listen up, you dirty little _street rat_ , 'cause I'm only gonna say this _once,_ " he said, glaring at her. "If you _ever_ think about compromising _my_ hideout under _any_ circumstances, I _will_ tear you to shreds and pieces _before_ I make you wish you'd _never_ been born! You _got_ that?"

Sophie took in a deep, confused breath. "W-what do you mean?"

Before the infuriated Joker could continue, the front door of the hideout burst open as if it had been blown in by hurricane-force winds. Harley came bounding in with a red and black knapsack draped over her shoulders, and a huge, happy grin on her face.

The Joker casually tossed Sophie back down, sighing. She bounced as she landed on the bed, gasping to catch her breath.

Harley giddily raced over to the bed, her eyes glistening with pure excitement. "Good morning, everyone!" she said cheerfully, grinning widely. "So, didja tell the kid the good news, Puddin'?"

The Joker closed his eyes and put his hand to his temple. "I was _getting_ to it, Harl."

"Wh-what good news?" Sophie stammered, biting her lip. "That...that I'm not going anywhere?"

Harley grinned wider, but Sophie was surprised it was even possible. _"Exactly!_ Isn't it _great?"_

Sophie nervously looked from Harley to the Joker, absolutely dumbfounded. _"Great?"_ she yelped, gulping. "Great that I'm not going _anywhere?_ Does..." she felt her voice quiver. "Does...does it mean I'm leaving in a _body bag?_ "

Harley giggled and shook her head. She gently took Sophie's face in her hands and kissed her forehead. _"No,_ silly! You're not _going_ anywhere...'cause you're gonna _stay!_ You're gonna stay here with _us!"_

Sophie gasped, and her mouth dropped open. "I'm...I'm _what?"_

"That's _right,_ cupcake!" Harley exclaimed, jumping up and throwing her arms around the Joker's neck. "I convinced my puddin' that the mean streets of Gotham were _no_ place for a sweet kid like you, so...we're gonna _keep_ ya!"

The Joker aggressively peeled Harley's arms off his neck. "Just so we're clear, _Street Rat,"_ he huffed, glaring with hatred at Sophie. _"We're_ not keeping _anything! Harley_ here was the one who wanted to keep you, _not_ me! _I'm_ not having _my_ name dragged into this nonsense!"

The Joker began thinking that he really _was_ insane. He was a dangerous criminal with big plans, and now, suddenly, he had let his girl talk him into basically "adopting" an orphan kid? He thought he had completely lost his mind, and he stormed out of the room without another word. He needed to kill something just to rid himself of his actions of being a "do-gooder." It disgusted him to no end, and he hoped it wouldn't ruin his reputation should anyone find out what Harley had succeeded in convincing him to do.

Sophie's head was spinning like a top as she tried to process everything that had happened in such a short time.

Harley's smile faded as she watched Sophie's blank reaction. She sat down on the bed and pulled off her headpiece and mask, wiping her makeup off. "Well... _say_ something, will ya?"

Sophie blinked at Harley. "But…but _why_ do you want me to stay here, Harley?" she asked. "D-do you just wanna do this 'cause you feel sorry for me after what I told you yesterday night?" Sophie gulped. "'Cause listen, I really don't _want_ anybody's sympathy. I don't _want_ it and I don't _need_ it," she insisted. "Really, I _don't!"_

Harley smiled, kissed Sophie's forehead again, and wrapped her into a tight hug. "Oh, cutie, I _didn't_ wanna do this 'cause I felt sorry for you! I wantcha to stay here 'cause I _like_ you," she said, sincerely. "I liked you from the first moment I saw you, and I liked you even _more_ after we spent time together yesterday! It was really nice having girl-talk with you, kiddo. You make me laugh, you're funny, and I liked spending time with you! And..." she bit her lip, nervously. "When...when you told me you're an orphan, I couldn't stop _thinking_ about it all night. I _hate_ the idea of somebody as cute and sweet as you having to be all _alone_ out there with nobody to talk to and nobody to look out for you. It's why I got Rock and Hev to help me steal all this stuff for you, so you could live here...somewhere _safe._ But..." Harley's voice trailed off a little. "I _know_ you said you can take care of yourself and you don't _need_ anybody. I _totally_ respect that. I really do. And, y'know," she added, quietly. "Even if I _did_ accidentally kidnap you when I drove off with you in our trunk, you're _not_ my hostage, sweetie pie. If you _really_ wanna leave, you can leave _anytime_ you want to. But, I'm...I'm _not_ gonna lie...I would...I would really _love_ it if you stayed here with...with me." Harley smiled sheepishly and glanced at the floor before she spoke, quietly. "I...I don't _wantcha_ to leave."

Sophie was in a state of pure shock. "B-but, you don't...I mean...you didn't... you...d-don't you wanna send me back to the orphanage?" Sophie's voice quivered as she stuttered with nervousness. She stood up, shakily. "That's why I try and avoid talking to people in the _first_ place...'cause they hear I'm a runaway orphan and they always wanna send me back."

Harley stood up as well and gently cupped Sophie's face in her hands for a second. "Well, I'm _not_ gonna make you go back to the orphanage, sweetie. I know orphanages are fine and useful and everything, but if you'd rather live on the _streets_ than be in one, I'd _never_ send you back. I _promise!_ If you decide to stay here with me, _I'll_ take care of you and I'll protect you just like you were my own kid or my little sister or something. I really and _truly_ want you here with _me_ from now on. I'd _love_ it if you stayed here!"

Sophie looked at Harley, wide-eyed. "Y-you _really_ want me to stay?"

Sophie was, again, shocked. No one had _ever_ told her they _wanted_ her before. She was accustomed to the adults in her life telling her they _didn't_ want her, so she really couldn't believe what she was hearing. It was the most beautiful thing she'd ever heard, but, she couldn't help but question the validity of it, give her horrible record with other adults around her.

Harley giggled at the pure absurdity of Sophie's question. "Of _course_ I want you to stay, cutie! As long as you're with me, you'll _never_ have to even think about going back to your old orphanage ever again! I really _promise_ you that." Harley planted two kisses on Sophie's cheeks, and Sophie was utterly speechless by then. "You're home is always gonna be right here with _me_ for as long as you want it to be!"

"I...I," Sophie began, her eyes filling with happy tears. Her heart was filled with so much emotion that she expected it to burst at any minute. "Do you _really_ mean it, Harley? I have a…I have a _home,_ here?" She gulped back tears. "I-I have a home here with...with _you?"_

Harley giggled again after seeing the look on Sophie's face. "Home sweet home!"

Sophie sat back down on her new bed, shaking her head in disbelief. She felt like she was dreaming.

Harley noticed the look on Sophie's face, and she slowly sat down next to her. "So," she asked, quietly. "D-do you _wanna_ stay here with me, little bunny?"

Sophie couldn't contain herself anymore, and she burst into tears. This time, though, her tears were from happiness. She wrapped her arms around Harley in a hug and squeezed her as tightly as she could. "Oh, _Harley,"_ she sniffed. "I-I don't even know what to _say!"_ she gasped. "I-I mean...of _course_ I wanna stay with you! _Thank_ you! Thank you _so_ much for...for _everything!"_

Harley chuckled a little and returned the hug. "I mean I know it's not Buckingham Palace here, but at least-"

"No, no!" Sophie cried in a rush, letting go of Harley and wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. "It's...it's _perfect!"_ She looked at the messiness around her, and couldn't help but giggle a little. It _wasn't_ perfect, actually, but as Harley said, it was home, and that was all Sophie needed to hear. "I mean, I even always wanted a pet dog, too, and you have _two_ of them! It's like _paradise!"_

Harley grinned, laughing. "Yeah, and hey! I think they _really_ like you. Come here, babies! Come say hi to your new baby sister! You better protect her with _all_ ya got, okay?"

Both animals bounded over to Sophie as she stood up from the bed. They pounced on her, knocking her to the floor and licking her all over her face, almost as if they understood what their mother was telling them. Sophie giggled as she tried to shove them off of her.

"Okay, I love you, too!" Sophie couldn't stop laughing as they both bombarded her with wet, slobbery kisses. _"Okay!"_ she cried through laughter, trying her best to push them off of her, but she was no match for both of them. "You gotta get off me now, you guys!"

Harley threw a chew toy as far away as she could, and Bud and Lou raced after it, barking happily. She helped a still-giggling Sophie up from the floor, and her eyes brightened. "Oh hey! I almost forgot!" Harley reached into her knapsack and pulled out a white stuffed bunny, covered from toes to ears with huge rainbow spots. "Happy 11th birthday, sweetie!"

"Oh," Sophie gasped, taking the bunny from Harley as tears formed behind her eyes, again. "Oh, Harley! I _love_ it! You...you got this for _me?"_

Harley giggled. "Of _course_ I did! I didn't want your _only_ birthday present to be gettin' terrified half-to-death by the Joker, after all!" She brushed Sophie's bangs out of her eyes. "So, I got a little bunny for _my_ little bunny! _And…"_ she continued, pulling out two blue boxes from the bag. Harley squeezed the boxes a bit, and they opened, revealing two chocolate cupcakes with vanilla frosting and a sprinkling of rainbow sprinkles on top. "A healthy birthday breakfast!"

Sophie gripped the bunny and stared at Harley, her heart swelling to three times the normal size. "Harley, you're…" she bit her lip, trying not to cry as she hugged her as tightly as she could. "Y-you're the _best_ person I've ever met!"

Harley giggled. "Well, I guess I _am_ pretty neat, sometimes!" She noticed Bud and Lou had stopped playing with the toy and had started sniffing the air, curiously. "Uh-oh," she said, in a rush. "I gotta go put these two out back, otherwise they'll eat these cupcakes faster than Killer Croc on a piece of meat!"

Sophie sat down on the bed, happy tears still waiting to fall. Harley quickly handed her the cupcakes, then kissed her on her nose. "Hold onto those, okay, sweetie? When I get back, you gotta show me how to eat one of those with one bite like you said. I've been _dying_ to try it!"

As Harley wrestled the hyenas out towards the back door, Sophie was still with shock as she thought about the events of the past two days. No one had ever _wanted_ her to stay with them, no one had ever gotten her a birthday present before, and no one had ever defended her or protected her from _anything_ for as long as she could remember. Sophie wiped her eyes as the tears began to fall as she pondered the recent conversation. Harley had not only given her a place to stay, but she had said it was Sophie's new _home._ Sophie hadn't felt at home anywhere, _ever,_ not even with her own mother. But, the more Sophie thought about it, the more she really _did_ feel strangely at home with Harley, even if she usually closed herself off from anyone. Something about Harley was different, somehow, and that something allowed Sophie to actually be _okay_ with the fact that Harley seemed to care about her. The whole thing warmed her heart, and she could honestly say that she never wanted to leave. Harley had even promised to never make Sophie go back to the orphanage, which is what Sophie had feared would happen. Harley had promised to take care of her just as if they were a family, and Sophie wasn't used to this kind of behavior from anybody. She was used to being _rejected_ by everyone, not _wanted._ It was the only thing she'd ever known her whole life. But now, finally, someone _did_ care about her and _wanted_ her. Sophie was almost unable to function once she realized the seriousness of Harley's statements. Even Harley most likely wasn't aware of just how much of an impact her words and actions had made on Sophie, but they had. From that moment on, Harley was, in Sophie's eyes, one of the most amazing human beings on the planet, and her heart was full because of it. Sophie had never felt more loved in her entire life, and she vowed to protect Harley, her new "family," too, no matter _what._


End file.
